Nothing beats face to face

Early in my career, I was asked to proofread a chapter in a finance book entitled “How To Negotiate a Merger.”  To this day, I still remember the central message:  To negotiate effectively, try to put yourself in the other guy’s shoes.

15 years later, the legendary Stephen Covey said it slightly differently in the 4^th of his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: “Think Win-Win; Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships.”

Internet and email are great – they’re the tools that make this dialogue possible!  But at what point do they start threatening our civilization’s ability to interact successfully in “real life?”  And what are the possible repercussions to your practice if face-to-face networking becomes a thing of the past?

• People just don’t seem to “get it” when it comes to email and texting.  These were never intended to replace face to face dialog on sensitive or critically important matters.  Never say something in an email that you wouldn’t say to a person face to face.
• When you want to thank an important person for something vital, pick up the darn phone and talk to the person; don’t be content with sending an email.
• A whole generation of people are growing up texting instead of talking.  And it’s rubbing off on their parents.  To many, it seems like the scariest thing in the world is to actually talk to someone live or face to face.

My favorite Sci-Fi movie of all time is Forbidden Planet, a 1956 film starring a young Leslie Nielsen.  It’s about a long extinct people called the Krell.  Their civilization had advanced   computers that enabled them to act out negative subconscious thoughts by creating real monsters that ultimately killed off their population.

Is the use of advanced technology unleashing the monster within? Does email make confrontation easier and consensus more difficult?

Last year, I was advising a firm in their negotiations to purchase a smaller firm.  The MP of the larger firm called me, frustrated.   He had been  exchanging emails with the smaller firm for about a week or so and was disappointed at the lack of progress of the negotiations.  I suggested that the MP stop the emails and meet face to face with the seller.  He did this the next day and got the deal done in a nice, cordial, two hour meeting.  You just can’t beat face to face!